Viaggio in Islanda

So you are attending a funeral and you have some questions regarding proper etiquette. The family is grieving they have just suffered the loss of a loved one and you want to make sure you are not adding stress or upsetting anyone. Always try to remain sensitive to what they are going through, if you act accordingly it will bring them comfort to know you are there and that you care.

Here are some of the most asked questions regarding funeral etiquette:

What is proper attire for attending a funeral?

A funeral is a somber occasion and it is best to try to stick to darker colors. Black has always been the traditional funeral color and you will never go wrong in wearing it.  Modesty is important you do not want to draw attention to yourself so very revealing clothing should be avoided.

I am not that close to the deceased but I want to pay my respects do I attend the funeral or the wake?

This is a question that does not have a right or wrong answer it depends on what you are comfortable with. Most people opt to go to the wake because funerals are more for family and close friends.

What should I say to the grieving family?

Knowing what to say is one of the most difficult parts of attending a funeral. A brief expression of sympathy is appropriate such as "I am so sorry for your loss" or "you are in our thoughts and prayers" anything will work as long as you are being sincere.

I want to send flowers where can I send them?

You can send flowers ahead of time to the funeral home that will be used in the viewing and possibly the service as well. You can send flowers to the church if the funeral service is being held in a church. You can send flowers to the homes of the family if you wish.

Should I send out a sympathy card?

While it is not mandatory it would certainly be appreciated. The bereaved are comforted by knowing that others share in their grief. A card expressing your heartfelt sympathies is very appropriate.

I would like to send a financial gift or donation in honor of the deceased where do I send it?

You will want to contact the funeral director and see if the deceased had a charity pre-selected or if the family has one set up. The funeral director will assist you in where to send your gift.

Is it appropriate to bring children to a funeral?

This is a tough question because people differ in their opinions regarding this issue. If the children were close to the deceased it can help them through the grieving process to attend the funeral. However small children that are unable to understand what is going on may find it upsetting. Before you take any child to a funeral have a talk with them about what has happened and what to expect. Use your discretion if you feel they can emotionally handle attending then let them.

Below we have some links to sites with more information regarding funeral etiquette:

http://www.mountcastle.net/funeral.htm

http://www.speakschapel.com/Funeral_Etiquette_-25577.html